The Struggles with May

Most people think May is great. You know the saying, April Showers bring May Flowers.

Well in our house May brings sadness, tears and pain from 2021.

May 23, 2021 my husband and I gave birth to our son, but on this day was the same day we lost our son. So when May comes around so do all the feelings from that day.

I could go into the whole story, and maybe in time I will, like in a book or something (future foreshadowing perhaps).

Angel Toes

In our house May is crazy! And this year was even more so. We have our daughters year end dance recital, but this year it got postponed due to a wildfire that was putting our community in danger. Then almost a week later we were able to finally have it.

During all that craziness I get flash backs to 2021. The pain, the fear of just about giving birth in our porch - if this had happened, pretty sure I would have made my husband put our house up for sale based on the outcome we had. Day in and day out I wake up and face the day. No I don't always smile, but I try to. I do keep moving forward for my husband and my daughter.

But this isn't the only thing that makes May a tough month.. Let's be real, EVERYTHING seems to hit life in the month of May.

All the nonsense with year end things for school, oh lord the year things. Let's be honest by this time there aren't too many parents who are not OVER packing those fucking school lunches. I know I am!! I don't about anyone else, but I look like mother of year in September when you look inside my daughter's lunch box, but come May.. well let's just say at least there is food in it! Then you have the spring allergies, and sicknesses.. GROSS!! Over that right quick!

The year-end recitals and wind-ups for all sports and activities all see to take place within the same week, so try making it to all of those! The field trip forms.. lord knows my hand gets tired after a while signing all them! And would I love to help out and volunteer, sure who wouldn't. But then I would have to make up hours at work for the time missed, or use my vacation.

Then while all this school shit is going on, you have Mother Nature who is just a real moody bitch! One week we have stupidly hot weather that dries out everything and ending up with a wildfire for a week.. then she decides "oh hey looks like everyone has their plants out, I think it's time for snow!" LIKE REALLY?!?!? So then you have to protect the ridiculous amounts of money you spent on plants - because that's what adults do for some reason, and carry them all inside so they stay warm.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I cant answer this, I don't think anyone can to be honest. But we do it, year after year. I am guilty of this also. Don't know why, when I am terrible at keeping plants alive on a good day, but I continue to spend money on something that keeps stressing about all summer long!

Now let's not forget, there is Mother's Day in the month May. This is where you get acknowledged for being that amazing woman that we truly are. "Hey mom, thanks for pushing me out of your cooter, have a plant!" A plant really?! YAY I get to stress about trying to keep it alive to. I truly do love the little gifts and everything that we get on this day. Perks of being a mom, everything! I don't need a day, I get to watch the most amazing thing in my life everyday. She tells me everyday how much she loves me. And I know, take it in now while I can as they grow up so fast.

And for me, May is the start of our works busy season. You know what that means, more hires, more drug tests (the joys of my job). I enjoy my job i really do, but man sometimes I just wish it didn't hit all at once! And again.. in May because that is the time everything hits!

May isn't even over yet, as a matter of fact, it is only half way through. The struggles are just getting started. So here is to the next half of the month!

Until next time!

Kayla